doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Your dad touched me again.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
