1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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