Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize