ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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