Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
