She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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