I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
