You can't special order awesome
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
