We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
