Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
