The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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