dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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