I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize
