i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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