who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize