This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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