I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
