I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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