My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Found your dick twin last night
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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