All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
we made out on top of his cat.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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