Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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