Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
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