When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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