At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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