Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
