she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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