I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
