Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
third nipple confirmed
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I supernannyed him into submission
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Randomize
