the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Less talking, more tequila
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
