tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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