Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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