I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Randomize
