well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize