So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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