Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
