If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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