Pappa wants mamma naked
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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