Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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