lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
