We won't sleep together?
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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