I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Randomize
