I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Hippo gnu deer
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize