Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
