I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
