You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Of course I have a pirate flag
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
