making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
