Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
