god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
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