I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
