You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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