i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
