I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
