so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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