he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
