i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
