Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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