the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
