Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
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