apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
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