This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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