i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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