Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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