Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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